1
She is turning
in her life-enhancing
decomposing swamp-lands
revealing her underbelly of raw material
the dark-mother is swimming
in apocalytic ashen-fields
like the alchemist she is
surrendering to her miracle
of transformation
2
What role did she play
in the fickle tragi-comedy
set on such a grand scale ?
The exits the entrances
abrupt disruptive
like a passionate actor
obeying the flurried stage-notes
of a fussy director
The persuasive lightening gatherer
wedged between two giants:
strict Saturn unfathomed Neptune
and Uranus the rebellious one
come to full opposition
the enlightened erupter
allowing no thought before action
his preoccupation a bigger panorama
the consequences one would not know
until too late, moving her round the globe
a conspiring puppeteer manipulating
his weird kin - a generation of wind-up
wired-in obedient dolls
3
She questions, how can this be ?
When I hold all within me
the universe made of me
how could I have been
other than what I am ?
4
With my birth all worlds began
with my death all things die
and my spirit gestating forming
evolving billions of years
at one with the universe
transforming returning
to the primeval clay
belonging to no one
but myself
5
And the galaxy spirals
same rhythm
earthly gene pattern
as within, so without
a human cell, so the cosmos
now, in this mere second
of all universal time
understood only in reverie
you become whole
knowing you are the total sum
of all you have been - are yet to be
nothing can alter this
it simply is
6
When you unfurled
from your mother's womb
the universe unfurled with you
showing how small
how very large you are
how stars recognise in you
soul fragment - a sharing -
the star your memory
an echo of what you used to be
7
You have entered
the drama of gestation
the crimson birth-dance
returning again and again
from that far-time when you left
your seamless hand-print
on the rock wall of the cave
of first consciousness
8
With your return
you bring new eyes of wonder
feel her subtle changes of mood
her seasons, brand-new
as you look astonished
how all things obey
her viridian law
and bow
to simple patterns
unfolding shape of leaf
shape of leaf unchanging
9
In your dreams
time does not exist
you are whole
in your dreams
no divisions
in your dreams
in your dreams
you roam free
Pamela Sidney 2000
Understanding
I understand
consciousness is quickening
for all humanity
evolution so rapid
time appears to have quickened
I understand we are matter
speeding through a universe
sometimes ordered
sometimes chaotic
that this universe
has beauty beyond words
resounding like music
reverberating chords
forever reaching harmonies
I understand
religious faith
slows the journey of evolution
relying on blind belief
slowing spiritual growth
and understanding
I understand
random chaotic events
as much as I do balance
and seeming perfection
perfection being
that unattainable state
one aspires to
but never reaches
existing only
in minute ephemeral inklings
I understand
the cohesive web of nature
the one voice of ecology
that one-god worship disconnects
earthly beings from their crucial need
to be one with wilderness
I understand
we are the stuff of stars
universal cosmic beings
briefly caring
for an earthly utopia
but ultimately
we are creatures of light
speeding through
the never ending dark
holding spirit within us
spirit in every speck of matter
in every creeping insect
every stone
every animal
that ever lived
I understand
we are spirit beings
speeding through space
with no sense of home
but the home of spirit
residing within us
I understand
we belong to deep space
where
as minute particles
we will eventually join together
forming new universes
new constellations
new star colonies
Pamela Sidney 1999
